Monday, October 5, 2009

Professional Football

For a girl, I guess I like football. I am not a die hard anybody fan. I don't own any jerseys of any players, I have never worn a face tattoo or painted my body in team colors. I enjoy the game for the game's sake. I like to look at strategy, I enjoy the amazing passes, the crushing hits, and the surge of the fans during those intense moments on the gridiron. I have watched my younger brothers play six years of high school football, and the two years that they overlapped were great with two football games back to back on Friday nights. When the older one moved on to college football, our weekends were absolutely consumed with football: leaving work early to get the H.S. game, and then packing up to drive to Ames for college football. When I was at ISU I did have a season ticket my last two fall semesters, and before that I would try to get in free at half time.

This past weekend I learned, that my love for football does have its limits! I don't care for professional football. It doesn't trip my trigger. I can watch it with Husband on a lazy Sunday or Monday night, while I am knitting. I don't typically roll my eyes when Husband is terribly excited to turn on the Green Bay Packers, and I do get a good football fix when there are those amazing runs and exciting points during the game. OK let me just get to my list of things that bug me about attending a professional football game:
  • The price for the ticket (even though we were taken to the Chiefs game as a smoozy effort by Husband's ad agency) is disgusting!! $90 for an average football game is just totally ridiculous.
  • It is exciting to follow your school and showing that school spirit during athletics is what gives us all a well rounded education. There is no school, college, or university behind a professional football team.
  • The fans...well...I just felt as though we were scraping the barrel! Now I realize that not everyone attending a college football game has attended college, and I DO REALIZE that I am being EXTREMELY ELITIST here...but the grammar, the smoking, the drinking, the fashion statements of these Chiefs fans...I was just terribly disappointed. I know that I am having a double standard here, but seeing a bunch of drunk students is not as disturbing to me as seeing a bunch of drunk old men. Yes, I have seen drunk men and drunk women at college football games as well, but I am just comparing my own percentages here. I did my fair share of drinking during football games while I was in college but there does come a time when it is is time to GROW UP and be a bit more respectable. I probably just sound like a stuffy mother already.
  • I missed the marching band!! The blaring redneck music was no substitute for the wonderful fight songs that a good marching band can just belt out. As much as we all make fun of the marching band nerds....
  • The half time show...was 100+ women from Jazzercise. Yeah. I was not impressed!!
  • The cheerleaders? Umm I should rephrase and call them erotic dancing, scantily clad women. I don't typically get uptight about cleavage and the way other women are dressed. It is their business, plus Husband thinks I'm hot and I am just fine with his feelings. Since we were in row 13, these hussies were pretty hard to ignore. I was probably more distracted than Husband was, but the hair tossing, the pelvic thrusts...there was nothing cheering about it!! They each had three outfit changes, and they came out with less and less clothing each time. Well, at least they kept on their thigh high, white patent boots on. We wouldn't want anyone to see their calves, but by outfit #3 that was boy cut "underwear" most of the hair flipping, breast implanted females should have been more worried about the cellulite that was visible from row 13.
  • In addition to the "cheerleaders" there was a "sexy" cowgirl that rode out on a real horsey before the game and after each touchdown. Thankfully we didn't see her very often, since the Chiefs only scored twice while we were there.
  • Back to the alcohol, I like that there is no alcohol served inside of a college football game. There is something more "football" more "sports" like when walking through the concourse there aren't bars about every 5 feet. Margaritas here, beer there, there...and there, and hard liquor over there. How can people afford to even drink at these events? A nasty looking bottle of beer was $7.75.
  • Concession stands are typically very expensive, and the professional arena is no exception. Arrowhead stadium was the only place I have ever seen popcorn and pop cost more than at a movie theater.Husband, with, beer. Not purchased by him, or at the game.
So here I am, thinking, how do these fans do it? How do they afford the ticket, the food, all of the paraphernalia including the jerseys, the tailgating gear, the parking fee or the stadium parking pass? do some of the fans actually drive farther than we did and then rent a hotel room the night before? I couldn't do it. I couldn't afford it!! What do these people do that they can afford to go to a professional game, buy all of the crap and do it 8-10 times a year! Or are there more games than that? I sincerely hope that these "fans" are still putting food on the table, shoes on their feet, and they had all better be able to afford health insurance! What kind of country can complain about universal health care and the state of the economy, when they will take a Saturday to spend at a professional sports event, going broke to line the pockets of a bunch of old men. Would they have they get the same amount of pleasure playing in a park with their buddies? or do they have to have all of the glitz, glamor and money in order to feel worthy?

The only name I recognized on the field was Eli Manning. That was kind of cool, watching a really good quarterback play, but...he didn't connect that well with his receivers. I don't know. I wasn't impressed! I guess I am a tough customer. I would rather sit on the grass, freezing my butt off at the Little Rose Bowl in West Branch, Iowa, watching the young Bears I have never met play the big rival of the West Liberty Comets for $6 instead of leaving Des Moines at 6:30 in the morning after a hellish night spent at my in-laws, risking my life in a vehicle with a bad driver at the wheel, to sit and watch a slow moving professional football game. #10= Eli Manning

The best part of the day was the 9:30am stop at L.C.'s BBQ in K.C. By far the very best ribs I have ever consumed. I truly enjoyed this Fred Flinstone tailgate.

I am ready for this Bret Farve to be done playing football. It seems as though he is ready also...only sometimes, but seriously! Over the weekend, I decided that I am not impressed by these "old" men playing football. I realize they are making serious bank, and they could care less about ruining their bodies and all of that. Those high school and college boys play their hearts out, for the love of the game. They don't need disgusting paychecks. They are faster, more intense and technically they should be paid when they are in college! The real task is going to class everyday, and then going to practice every day. Beating up your body and then trying to get your brain to perform on a chemistry test. The true talent is with the college boys.

The silver lining was spending the day with Husband, even know...the hellish night at the in-laws didn't put me in the best frame of mind. Oh yeah, and the all day headache spawned by the hellish night at the in-laws in a nasty bed, spurned by the horrible and dangerous 85 miles per hour driving going down to K.C. and then coming back set me up for a complete meltdown once we hit our own driveway 12 hours later. It is true that I need to keep my mouth shut during football games, and I should not discuss coaching strategy or plays during the college bowl season so that my football knowledge can just be all silent and folded up in my head until the day comes when my little Iain will want to play football and his mother will scream her head off in the stands while Fiona flips around the grass cheering her brother on with ribbons in her ponytail and a skirt that covers her bottom.


Todd Tysseling said...

I usually read the first third or so of your blogs. I have a short attention span. :-) What I read was entertaining, though.

EMJ said...

My blogs are pretty lengthy...some have referred to them as a "dissertation." I must get some more gripping writing to keep you to the end. :)